So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think I am morally bankrupt
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
