I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
