dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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