He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
