I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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