i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You pole danced in your parka.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Enjoy the penises
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
