You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
