if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
