Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
