You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize