But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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