the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
