The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
