I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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