my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
