btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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