At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just google imaged poop.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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