Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
