with your own penis?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
