I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
