I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
