By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
