So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
