you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think your dad took our porno
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
