how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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