Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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