I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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