I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
