In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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