Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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