hotel room ftw
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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