He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize