the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
