Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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