why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
