whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
