no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
