He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
