They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
