Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
