its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize