That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
