If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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