I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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