Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
