So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
