Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize