I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
