speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
