I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
