if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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