I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize