So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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