I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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