I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You need Xanax blowdarts
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
