No stitches, just platelets and will power
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
