I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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