My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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