so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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