Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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