Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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