WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
